What Train are you on?



I was asked the other day a question that caused me to pause for a moment. The question was; What is it that you do?

Normally when we are asked this question we can rattle off whatever job description we have or a description that correlates to our job title. For me however it was one of those things that made me pause and ask myself..what is it that I do?

Here it is the first of December already, this amazing year nearly complete .  For many of us our thoughts are focused on the Holiday’s the Season is in full force.  I love the holidays… the shopping the giving…the child like wonder that shines in the eyes of the young and some of the old…a time when miracles seem possible and surround us all.  I love the excitement of making someones dreams come true.. to help inspire belief.

As much as I love the season… the closing of this year has been a giant cause for pause. Many are jumping on the   WOW Train!  The train that shows the accomplishments… such as growth…understanding… or… celebrating that they have finally got it…  Many are on the train of  sorrow; they have had to say good bye to loved ones and are struggling with understanding why, and dealing with the guilt of living.   Then the train of reflection; the ones that are looking at their reflection and wondering…Just wondering where it is they are along their life path….hoping and trying to trust that the direction they’re headed is best.  They know that they have done the work…they are just not sure if the brunt of the work is over yet.  They feel that they haven’t unlocked the mystery of all that is…  They know they’re headed in the right direction… They just, well… haven’t jumped on the “oh I am insanely happy” train yet.  They want to… but the fog hasn’t completely lifted yet.

I  am on all of these trains.  I am insanely happy… I have lost many this year…and have at times felt surrounded by death.  I know that I have not figured it all out yet, I am getting close….so close.   I do think I am one of the conductors on the happy train as well as the sorrow train… ushering people in… helping them find their seats…collecting the tickets…showing them the buffet and all the perks on the train.  When the trains starts to move however…that is my cue to jump off.  I havent done all my work yet.  My personal journey holds me off the train.  I need to find my passion, or maybe I have found it I just need to embrace it.

When I try to figure out what my passion is… or when I’m asked “What it is I do” I tend to stumble upon my words. I’m told I help many…the help that I’m said to give doesn’t seem like I am doing much.  I listen, and I share the insight I receive.  I am a mere Shepard.  Trying to keep track of the herd.  Trying to help them out of trouble…listen when they need an ear…give guidance when guidance is needed.  I am a helper. I don’t come back with a fancy title.  Sure I call my self a Reader, Psychic, Clairvoyant, Teacher, Blogger, Writer on paper… but none of them mean I am any better than anyone else.  Writing is one of my passions… so is when I am delivering a message to someone (from spirit) and I see that glimmer in their eyes that tells me that they see the connection or connect to the message…this give me joy.  I say I am a writer…when really I am just sharing my thoughts, my experiences.  I don’t have the correct discipline of the English language to really call myself a writer, I am more aptly a story teller.

I offer perspective and insight.  I love giving readings to people…but to me they are more than readings they are conversations.  An opportunity to help someone else…see, to expand their thoughts for just a moment in time and hear what their inner voice is trying to convey.

I am not sure I will ever be just a  rider on the happy train.  Not because I am not happy or I don’t deserve the happy train…but because I’m not sure if I will ever really want to be just a rider  For me finding my happiness is all about helping others on board the “Happy”train.

I am ready to welcome the new year, I think that we have had an amazing year to reflect upon!  Take some time this December to review this incredible year.  Take time to appreciate what you have been through, what you have experienced and take a deep breath and give yourself permission to release what no longer serves you.


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