When you come upon change and transition do you boldly go where no man has gone before…or do you stand there wondering…wondering what will lay before you, what will this new life look like? Do you ponder the decision to even open the door. What if there is no plan no set creation. Do you swell with fear or anticipate great excitement? Change of any kind conjures up the most uncomfortable emotions. Brings to surface all our doubts and reasons both why we should open the door and why we should kindly walk away. Whatever you choose, make it your choice. Honor your feelings but do not give way to fear. Fear of the unknown is not a reason to walk away from change. Embrace expansion and opportunity. Trust in yourself, this is what I keep telling myself. Trust.
I keep thinking of the 3 of wands from the Shadowscapes deck. This card seems to be making a recurring visit in my life this year, in all of our lives actually. This simple card conjures up feelings of adventure, fear, anxiety, achievement, trust…. the list goes on and on and on!
THREE of WANDS
Exploration, seeking out the uncharted, expanding horizons, taking a long view, leadership.
It is also a great depiction of creating your own path. Taking that uncharted step out in the great abiss…not knowing… but at the same time, all-knowing. There comes a time in all of our lives when we need to take off the so-called water wings and jump in…trust in ourselves. We so easily put our trust and faith in others to help us, that we sometimes forget to take our “training wheels” off and believe in ourselves. A lot of this is attributed to self judgement. We are always critically looking at whether we have given something our all or done our best….ever comparing ourselves to some unrealistically high set of expectations (expectations we would never hold someone else to). What it boils down to is embracing the concept of self-love.
Learning to love ourselves can be a very difficult process. If you are one of the few that is completely confused by this process being difficult…I am so very happy for you.
The majority of us however…have had experiences and relationships that have made us very judgemental upon ourselves…ever criticle that maybe… we are not living up to our potential or standards (which by the way was probably a standard set by someone other than ourself). From a very early age we learn to try and impress…or live up to the expectations of others. We may even take on the label that someone inadvertently put upon us as a new standard and try to maintain it.
If you think about it we have either all unintentionally labeled someone or been labeled. Just by making the simple comment of “someone being the funny one, or the serious one or she/he is so smart you can always count on them for help”. Simple statements that can really make us feel good about ourselves…at the same time can scar us. These statements after hearing them over and over become expectations for us to live up to. Now these are very mild and you may be thinking that I am overreacting. I am not saying we should not be saying these things. What I am saying is that when we hear statements like these we need to remember to add them to who we are not limit ourselves to the statements. We don’t want to let the comments we hear become who we are, instead we want to add them to our creation. Like facets on a diamond or crystal.
Learning to accept ourselves is one of the hardest but at the same time one of the most rewarding things we could ever do. We are all so unique..beautiful in our very own way. Real happiness comes when we are able to look in the mirror and stop looking through the eyes of ego when we look to measure success. Look through your heart. See yourself for who you are in that very moment. Look at what you have accomplished, what you have learned and where you have come from. If we changed the lens we view ourselves from to that of love and admiration versus comparison and achievement we will start to change the perspective in which we live our lives as well as how we view ourselves. We start to eliminate self judgement (because we will no longer be looking at where we think we need to be) we will appreciate where we are.
We have all probably heard the term “keeping up with the Jones”. We have also in some aspect of our lives been guilty of doing this. I know I have. It seems in our nature to compare, to constantly compare ourselves with others. Day by day I am learning to allow myself to just be me. Who ever I may be that day.
When you find yourself at a crossroads in your life, unable to move, remember that by not making a choice you ultimately make a choice. In a sense you are choosing to be reactive… instead of pro-active.
When we get to that point in our path where the road has narrowed and there is only room for a foot at a time…trust yourself. This is the time that is yours. This is point along your path that your destination is unplanned…it is yours to create. Believe in yourself and know that no matter where you step, what direction you choose it is the right direction. Like the person in the card above..you have traveled far. From where you stand your view is endless. You know that there will ups and downs, it is guaranteed, regardless of the direction you choose.
Smile…take a deep breath.
Breathing in love and appreciation for who you are and have become…now…
Exhale all the doubt, insecurities and self judgement that you have carried with you.
Take that next step.