One of my goals this vacation was to get more in touch with my spirit, my gifts, and practice meditating. Even though I have been talking a lot about releasing expectations and letting go of old ideals, I realized yesterday that I came with a set of my own. You see, I had this image, of myself sitting in lotus position under a tree, connecting to spirit and the divine. Sounds beautiful doesn’t it?
Well…what I have realized is that these were just limiting expectations that allowed for little deviation. I need to release the limitations I have on myself and allow my experiences here (as well as in my life) to unfold naturally.
Some may be already thinking that I am being overly dramatic here. That there is nothing wrong with a goal or setting expectations. You are right, in most situations for most people. However; what I know about myself is that to truly allow I need to release all expectations. Expectations can sometimes create extreme disappointment, especially when we set them in such a idealist way that we have such a hard time achieving them. Sometimes putting restrictions on what something should look like (in order for it to be successful) we just set ourselves up to fail.
This is a very important lesson for all of us. We need to learn to set goals, and expectations in a constructive way. What I should have done is set the goal to spend some quality time (maybe 30 minutes) a day meditating. Stop at that, resist the urge to create pictures of what that meditating should look like.
Often times when we set expectations (with a picture in our head of what it looks like ) and or goals we are unknowingly setting limitations as well. This is not always done on purpose, it can happen on a subconscious level. This occurs when our actions/words are not inline with our hearts or our belief in oneself. The saying “all talk” comes to mind. We set goals and say we are going to do something just because we know it is what we are “supposed” to do. This too can have its purpose but true sustainable results can only be achieved when your actions are inline with what you believe.
I think that is what happened here. I had this idea in my head, this image, of what everything was to look like. I thought just being here would make everything easier. I was wrong. The location really doesn’t matter. It can make it more enjoyable sure…but the work is done within, not on the exterior. Don’t get me wrong, it is beautiful, amazing and oh so peaceful here.
No matter how peaceful, I have still had a hard time relaxing. Being here has definitely helped quiet the distractions. However; even in this pristine environment I can find myself feeling rushed. I am filled with the feeling of not wanting to waste the day, or miss out on what I “should” be doing while I am here. Counting the days i have left instead of savoring the one I am in. This is an internal response that I am sure I am not alone in having.
So, today I am releasing my old expectations. I will set aside 30 minutes a day (for the remainder of my trip) to meditate…after that, I will go with the flow.
I spent today absorbed in my surroundings… appreciating my environment. I am truly in awe of the beauty that is all around me. Today I had the pleasure of being surrounded by Eagles, Hawks, Herons, Loons, Humming birds, Swans, Pelicans,Dragon flys and Butterflies, it has been magical.
I could swear, a few times today, I even saw a fairy peek around the stump of a tree while I looked for a four leaf clover. Even though I was unsuccessful at finding that four leaf clover, it felt nice just to reconnect with the earth.
I challenge you all to take the last few days of this week and allow yourself to, just go with the flow. Even if all you do or can do, is take an hour out of your day and just go with the flow. Throw away the list of things to do…the schedule. Take a new route home and take time to look around. What new things did you see or notice.
How did it feel? Sometimes anxiety can set in…if this happens, just breathe, relax…and remind yourself that you are worth it. You are aren’t you? Try it. Eventually, if you can, increase it until you can give yourself a full day.