Baby Steps

So many of us are on big paths of transition right now… or as I like to think of it assension.  Transforming our lives.  Remembering our plan and rerouting our path.  It’s very important during this time, to remember that there is work to be done both within ourselves as well within our outside world.

I am reminding myself that it’s the baby steps that are most important right now. You know how they say that the slower you lose weight not only is it the healthiest,  but you have the best chance of successfully keeping it off.  I think that personal growth and change works the same way. 

This is a hard task in a time of  “insta” everything. We as a society have developed a mindset that if it doesn’t happen “now” it wont happen.  We give up.  The challenge we face is realizing that instant gratification is not everything.  More times than not it is a diversion to tempt us away from our goal or true purpose. 

I know and deal with this personally.  So, how do we over come this?  How do we retrain ourselves?  I believe it goes back to Baby steps… you set small attainable goals.    

I  have been practicing this.  I have been asked to teach.  I have been told I can teach, that I do without realizing it.  I am scared and I am very hard on myself.  I know this.  The expectations I hold over myself are much higher than any I would EVER hold over ANYONE.  This I am able to acknowledge as wrong.  I however; am not able to change it over night.  So, I am working on…babysteps. 

I agreed to start teaching a workshop in October!  This is a small step (in the direction I am wanting to go full-time) however; it is a BIG step in self allowance.  That is the first step I have consciously taken. 

The second step happened yesterday.   I am an “occasional” golfer.  Which is very difficult for a person like me.  Internally I have such a drive to be “good” and yes…secretly sometimes the “BEST”  argh!  I am so very competitive and at times that competitiveness is downright embarrassing.  I am not even good, I barely ever do it (Golf) and yet I feel the need to be the best!  This in itself is a unrealistic expectation I set upon myself that does not promote anything except personal insecurities.  Very self destructive behavior. 

Back to yesterday, I was invited/included in a golf event for the company I work for.  At first I was excited and pleased to be included.  Then the old feelings of stress started to creep upon me… I started to worry about who I would be golfing with…what would they think.  I recognized the behavior and took a deep breath.  This I thought will be a big test of self acceptance for me.  A true test, actually.  You see the competitive nature in me is so strong that to be able to make it through this golf game without getting frustrated or down right angry with myself, was going to be BIG!

When the golf teams were posted, I felt the anxiety start to creep up.  At first I was put with three male coworkers in which I knew all but one fairly well.  Then it changed.  And then it changed again.  When the team was finally finalized I ended up knowing everyone pretty well.  I was comfortable with my team (competitive still…yes, but comfortable as well).   Usually, I would have been so very stressed out however, this time… I reminded myself that I am who I am (which is not a pro golfer).  I am doing this for fun.  There is no “prize” to be had.

I am pretty happy with how I handled myself.  I set out to take it easy on myself and I feel I was about 75% successful with my mission!  BABY STEPS!!!  It’s working!  Every time I caught myself having a negative thought (about myself) I stopped it.  I reminded myself that it did not matter.  I will not lie… it was harder than I thought. 

I know Baby Steps sound small and simple.  In a big way that is what they are supposed to be small, simple steps.     Don’t let the small simple steps fool you.  These small precious steps are not always so simple, and when you accomplish them, it’s huge!  The more you take the bigger the impact as well as the results!

Good luck with your baby steps. 


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