In my journey within…I’ve realized something about my communication skills. I am not as terrific at it as I had thought!
As I have been talking to people lately I have caught myself…I’ve actually been listening (to myself) as I am talking, and what I have heard has really surprised me at times. Let me see if I can explain….the following is just one small example;
Let’s say I am choosing between two food chains, Chipotle and Qdoba…in my head I want Qdoba…but I hear my voice say Chipotle. I actually hear my self adamantly saying…no…Chipotle….finally my subconscious that is eavesdropping on the situation, finds an opportunity to speak up and clear the air….by correctly voicing what I thought I was saying in the first place. It’s weird…. It seems that (not all the time mind you) that What I am wanting or trying to say is either coming out with the completely wrong words…or the words that do come out are not conveying what I am trying say. Listening to this made me wonder… how long….has this been going on? The other thing that really makes me stop…and think is…how many arguments have I argued…when based on the words I was speaking were wrong…and I was not really hearing.
Lesson here is many times we allow ourselves to be on…auto pilot. We complain that we are not being heard…or that our points may not be getting across… But, what about us? Are we listening? Not just to the people we are talking too…but to HOW we are talking to them? Are we in the moment when we are speaking or have we jumped ahead to their assumed response…have we allowed our minds to work on the rebuttal to the argument that we have not even received yet instead of being in the moment.
It seems that we are all on some super path. Each of us feels we are running out of time. We are programmed to not have to wait for anything. Instant gratification, instant relationships, so much to do so little time to get it all done. That we forget.
We forget to actually communicate.
Let go back to the beginning. This journey of mine is real. It hasn’t been instant. It’s kind of like playing the game chutes and ladders. Some things have been a harder or longer climb than others and some have slid me back to where I have already been. Regardless I continue to move in the right direction, no matter where I am on the board.
You see… I had some nice motorcycle meditation time…peaceful…uninterrupted in my head me time. Right before we left…I was talking to someone trying to explain a local situation that was recently in the local papers. I fumbled on my words…could not make my point and overall I felt like a bumbling idiot. You see…this is not always me. I am usually fairly articulate.
This situation sprung into my head while my mind rested (on the back of the bike) and the more I thought about it I was confused. I feel that I communicate quite well most of the time. Why is it that am more comfortable writing than speaking?
For me…I think it is because when I type…or write…I move a little slower…I am forced to try and slow my thoughts to keep them in time with my fingers. I am not a speed typist, and as my readers know…not great at catching all my typos or spelling errors either. Let’s face it I have a really hard time slowing down. I have a harder time staying in the moment. I try to remember to live in the moment more than live ten steps ahead. Remember I said “try”, we are so program to hurry, that it’s not one of those things we can fix over night. It is while I am learning to slow down that I am learning the majority of my lessons.
In revealing my life lessons, not only do I find the things I need to work on…I learn more about what my true purpose is and about the unique path I am on.
Well, again I have gotten quite wordy, so I will wrap this post up and bring it to a close.
If while reading this you recognize my points in your own life…remember to slow down and listen to what your saying….and how you are saying it. Remind yourself to live in the moment, and mean what you say but better yet, say what you mean.