Things happen for a reason


I have been very distant lately…
Preoccupied with some major life events. Blogging has taken a back seat. However my spiritual growth has not.
I think that through my trials and tribulations as I am calling them with through work…have been helpful in my growth as a spirit and as a person. I have learned a lot about…people and in the process myself. Some of the things I have learned about myself have not been pretty pictures to look at, i have learned i am not always as kind of a person I strive to be. As for the lessons on other people…well…we can’t always assume we know the troubles or feelings or stance of someone, especially when your unsure of some of your own.
Growth can be hard…it’s not all easy and fun. Lessons in life impact each and everyone of us in a different way. Besides my daily work lessons I am reminded of one lesson in particular…

One lesson…experience we could also call it, has it’s own special anniversary date for me.
It was a fateful day…May 11, 1985… My senior year in high school. I was in a terrible car accident that changed not only my life forever but many…many…others as well. I am lucky actually to have a a life to even talk about. I was a passenger in a deadly car accident.
Started in the back seat…between two friends…or acquaintances really, that day. One a 16year old girl named Terri and the other a boy who’s name I cannot even remember…he was freaking me out and making me really uncomfortable. I felt this intense need to get out of the back seat. I ended up climbing into the front seat with my friend. On her lap actually…her boyfriend was driving her car. We put our seatbelt on over the both of us…I wanted out of the car…the seatbelt was choking…me so we took it off…then shortly… after… there was a big BANG…I was knocked out…
Woke to the sound of a girls voice telling me to start praying and praying fast…that our friend was dying…

See we were turning in an intersection my friends boyfriend went through a stop sign and a drunk driver hit our ford escort with his ford pick up truck…speeding… It all happened in a flash.
Terri flew out the back hatch window and landed in an ally…she died on impact.
The boy…flew out the side window and the car landed on him…crushing his ribs, breaking lots of bones…but he lived. I well… Before my head went through the windshield it flew out the side window and hit the telephone pole we wrapped around, and my knee went into the dash board. My friend whose lap I was on…h head hit the back of my neck…and the telephone pole as well.. I was ultimately her buffer. The driver was fine. It was his sister that died.

This event affects me every year…EVERY…year… In some way or another. To remember the events is almost like a homage to the memory of those involved. Everything…everyone changed. How you process and move forward with your life is something you can never predict…but it is in those moments that you redefine who you are…

Terri’s funeral was and will always be the worst experience in my life… Her mother torn with grief literally threw herself on the casket as they wee lowering it into the ground…or just getting ready to. You see…earlier that day before the accident, when we picked them up. Terri and her mom had the worse fight…embarrassing to listen to…yelling screaming and swearing at each other…her mom said to not leave…but she did…and …that is the last time they ever spoke…or seen each other. The last words ever spoken.

This has left a profound impact on my life. I have always had a terrible fear of abandonment… And at this point in my life it clinched it. I feared losing my Childers whenever I was not with them…I hate going to bed angry…I over share with people for fear I will never see them again…

On the positive side…I have learned to listen to that inner voice. Had I stayed in the backseat…and not gone into the front seat, I am not sure where my life would be…what path I would be on. I have also learned the power of telling someone that you love them. In the moment…when you feel it…for you never can tell if you will have a tomorrow. So hug the ones you love… And remember to live for the day… Live…and love.

Another year has gone…but I needed to share the accident…because even though the years have slid by…I haven’t forgotten. Things happen for a reason, even if we don’t know what that reason is at the time.

Love and light


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