I have not had time this week to really dedicate myself to my blog…however, I do feel that the internal review I have mentioned in previous blogs has been going full force…the divine has not waited around for me to “make” time. I did want to quickly acknowledge that for me the internal review has been helping. I have found that setting out to think…review things internally has benefited me with external changes. Changes that I did not set out to make. Intentions that I may have set, yes…but not necessarily changes. What do I mean? Well in my attempt to be more aware…patient…I have found my week much more serene…and organized. For all practical purposes this week has been assumed and labeled the week from hell months ago. A big event at work is taking place and we all new it was going to be stressful and difficult with long hours…these things are true…and they are happening…but…my reaction has become much more calm. Calmer than it was just days ago. What I mean is this… No matter what events we have in our lives, we ultimately have control over one thing… Ourselves, and how we let these events that inevitably pop up in our lives effect us. This has never really made sense or been all that affective for me in the past…so I understand if your reading this and think…yea…yea…yea…that sounds all fine and good…but…
Well…no buts, it has taken me a long time and it has not been easy, even this time Round I got caught up in the drama of things and was miserable until, I just stopped and started thinking about the situation…within. Placing myself outside of the situation, looking at it as a stranger, trying to describe the event/s to myself as if I was so veery far removed from the situation. Once I was able to do this…I did nothing, I moved on about my days…and continued to some extent the drama…until one day it just didn’t make sense anymore…I acknowledged that I was doing all that I could…100% and then some actually…so my worries were not founded on guilt… And realized that what will work will work, what doesn’t, won’t… No one is coming to take my birthday away… The calm I got on the inside about the situation the calmer I became on the outside.
I know I have just rambled…and there’d are many different situations out there for all of us, this is just what I experienced recently and felt the need to share it. Basically I am my own worst enemy.. I am highly judgmental of my self and highly critical. These are things I have been told by others for as long as I can remember. I set my personal standards higher than any I would even begin to oppose upon others… why? Do I think I am better then others? You would think so based on my standards I set for myself…but it’s not how I feel….actually it seems more times than not it is the opposite… I just know how hard I work…and if I could have worked harder, or done more…the funny thing is…with this frame of mind we ultimately forget to take the time to give to ourselves…
So…before I go to work… Please remember we are in control of our world…internally which then manifests itself externally. And please don’t be so hard on yourselves…
Love and light
Namaste~