I want to talk about symbolism…but before I do I need to express how frustrating it is to have a lesson present itself to you over and over and over. I don’t get it….I think I get the message… But then again maybe I don’t. How can I give advice to my children how to be strong when I don’t follow it for myself? How can I do readings and relay messages that I don’t listen to when they are for me as well.
I feel I have been giving myself away, seeking value and worth from people that don’t really matter…at least some would say…but they must matter somehow right? Otherwise why give so much of yourself to them…and for what? To seem irreplaceable? To feel important…to be better then others? Is it all ego driven?is it competition? How do I reign in my competitiveness? Is it serving me or holding me back? Even when we win….do we win in spirit or body… I think if winning is what brings you glory than I am ultimately losing and holding myself back…
Frustrating day. Chose not to communicate…be quiet… Some would call me down right moody as of late. I am becoming someone I do not like…
I drafted this on Monday…then…I had my yellow chickadee dream…got an inspirational blogger award….and had a pretty intense argument at work..Went to a spin class that has an amazing instructor that helped me remember why I love his class sooo much. And… here it is only Wednesday. I feel as though at least a week has gone by, but tonight although I am physically beat…I feel really good. I actually feel really clear. I feel like I have purged and voiced so much that has been bottled up, like I am back on track!
Symbolism is something that I really have been wanting to talk about…
The dream I posted was full of it, and thanks to many of you that added your insight…I really think I understand the meaning. Truth is hard to speak at times, and for me it is especially so when it for myself and not others.
I keep asking to see my animal guides, or see them as I am out in my car…my lovely hawks that I missed so much weeks before. And…I am happy to say they are back. I am seeing the hawks…reminding me in my tougher times that they really are there for me. Thank you hawks. The fox… I was driving home and realized all day I had not seen any animals that I really could remember taking note of…and said out loud (like I so often do) dang…why is everything avoiding me….
Well…minutes after I said that a black fox with a white bushy tipped tail darted across the street in front of my car…I was amazed at what I saw…the timing was impeccable…
The message that came fleeting towards me was…”we are here…you are just to busy to notice, I have been here waiting for you…but you never see me, I had to throw myself in front of your car before you even noticed me. You need to slow down”. Wow…was all I could say.
The message was right…
Well…I need to go to sleep…but I will finish, or really start my take on symbolism…hopefully tomorrow. Good night.